Since my last blog things have moved on quite a bit, with dads Alzheimer’s progressing quickly.
In June 2025 he was admitted to hospital with an infection on his chest, that developed into Pnemonia. The time in hospital was horrendous, when an elderly relative is in hospital it is always an upsetting and worrying time for everyone concerned, but with an elderly patient who has Alzheimer’s it is ten times worse. My dad turned into someone we just did not recognise, he was angry and aggressive, lashing out at us when we visited, and even though we knew that it was the infection that was causing the change in his behaviour, it was horrible for us all to see.
Dad eventually recovered and came home from hospital, after a 10 day stay, we were concerned that his behaviour would continue when he came home, we were worried that he would lose his mobility after being stuck in a hospital bed for so long….but thankfully with each day that passed he grew stronger, his behaviour calmed and he became dad again, not the dad we knew before Alzheimer’s obviously, but things started to settle back into a routine. We were once again grateful for mum who was well enough to look after dad where needed, and me and my 2 sisters helped out where we could.
January 2026 things started to change again, with dads condition deteriorating, he became more and more confused, if mum wasn’t in the room, he panicked and went looking for her, she never left the house without him, but if he couldn’t see her he became agitated and upset, this obviously took it’s toll on mum. She turned 80 in February, and it became apparent that she was no longer coping with the progression of dad’s condition.
As a family we have always been against getting any help in for dad, always believing that we can look after him, but over the last couple of months it has become very clear that we can’t do it all ourselves, so we now have an amazing private carer who comes in twice a week to help to support dad…..and mum. She stays with dad whilst mum nips out to the shops, she engages him in activities, and has even encouraged him to have a little dance with her, she sent me a video of this and its one I will cherish forever, the short time that she is with dad, gives mum a much needed break.
We have also benefited from help from the Dougie Mac Dementia Services. We enrolled onto their 121 support programme, and every week for a 10 week period a lovely gentleman called Peter, came to pick Dad up and take him out for a couple of hours, they visited lots of different places, Chatterley Whitfield Mining Museum, Astbury Garden Centre, the Potteries Museum, and dad has really enjoyed it, and whilst my dad was out with Peter, mum got to go and do her shopping on her own, without having to look over her shoulder every 5 minutes to check that dad was ok, those 3 hours each week have been a godsend for mum…..and dad.
We have also reluctantly started the process for the next stage…..which is finding a lovely home for dad to be looked after as his condition continues to progress. It’s something that we always said that we wouldn’t do, but we know it’s the right decision for dad who now needs more specialist care, and of course mum, who has been and continues to be an absolute warrior looking after dad, but the time has come for us to think about mum too.
Finding a home for dad will not be easy, just the thought of it is breaking all of our hearts, we are dreading when the day comes that we take dad to the home for the first time, it’s going to be the hardest thing that we have had to do as a family, but I know it’s the right thing to do – the best for both mum and dad.
I have continued to support the Alzheimer’s Society with fundraising where I can, last year my sisters and me did the Trek 26 walk, and we are committed to doing it again this year. I determined to continue to raise funds to help anyone who is suffering with this awful disease.
