My dad, Tom, is currently living with Alzheimer’s Dementia, after receiving his official diagnosis early 2024. Aged 81 my dad is cared for by my mum, who thankfully is in good health aged 79.

Although Dad did not receive his diagnosis until early 2024, we had noticed things had been changing for at least 18 months prior. These changes included repeating sentences, asking the same questions, struggling to get his sentences out, and general confusion. One of the biggest things for me that I noticed was that every time I asked him a question, he would look to my mum for an answer, this was the one thing for me that made me think something wasn’t quite right. 

My dad has always been a man of ‘few words’, growing up in a house full of women, (his wife Dora, and 3 daughters), you would think that this wasn’t surprising. He has worked all of his life, spending 40 plus years working down the pit, before getting made redundant and then spending another 20 years working for Bentley Motors. After he retired, he played golf, went fishing, met up with his mates every Sunday lunchtime for a beer and game of dominoes, and him and Mum went out every Saturday and Sunday evening to the local club to play Bingo, I always used to comment that they had a better social life than me. They used to travel a lot, enjoying holidays abroad and visiting my sister who then lived in Australia for 6 weeks at a time. I remember thinking at the time how proud I was of them both, travelling the world and enjoying their retirement.

When Covid arrived in 2020, this hit Mum and Dad hard, like everyone else in the country, their lives changed overnight from being able to go out wherever they wanted to not being able to go anywhere. I remember on one of the visits that I made to them to drop off groceries, my dad saying that he was ‘fed up and that it was like being in jail’. It was during this time that I had noticed the changes in Dad, the looking at Mum for answers when I asked him a question, struggling to get his sentences out etc, I was worried, but put it down to the fact that he was struggling due to lockdown.

Once the pandemic had lifted and everyone was allowed to get out and about again, the changes in Dad started to worsen, me and my two sisters had started to ask Mum if Dad was OK, and if there was anything we needed to worry about, Mum always said no, everything was OK, so we made sure Mum knew we were always there if she needed us. I think in my mind, I always knew what was coming, but was in complete denial. I had had previous experience of Alzheimer’s related Dementia with my mother-in-law who had been diagnosed with the condition a few years earlier, before passing away with the disease in April 2020, and I just didn’t want to believe that the same was happening to my dad.

One of the things that Dad liked to do every day was to walk up to the local shop to pick up his daily newspapers, it’s a 20-minute journey there and back. He also got into the habit of going for a walk around the block too, this was again about a 20-minute round trip, these two walks each day were part of his daily routine.

One Saturday he went out for a walk around the block and was gone longer than 20 minutes. My mum had fallen asleep on the settee for a nap, and when she woke Dad was not there. She didn’t know how long she had been asleep, so didn’t know how long he had been out walking, but she guessed that he had been out for at least an hour. Mum raised the alarm and rung my two sisters who immediately drove over to Mum and Dad’s house (they don’t live far away) and they started to drive around the streets to see if they could find him. 

At 4.40pm Dad came home, all confused, upset, saying he couldn’t remember his way home. My mum and sisters got him back in the house, comforted him to settle him down. There was then a knock at the door, it was two police officers who had received a call from a lady in the next street to say that she had found Dad walking along the path looking confused, he was literally just around the corner from their house. The lady had taken Dad in and asked him his name and where he lived, he couldn’t remember his address but did give his full name. The lady called the police and before they could arrive Dad told her that he needed to get home as his wife would be worried about him, it was then that he did find his way home. The police were amazing, they checked that Dad was OK before leaving. The next morning the lady who had found Dad came round to check on him, my mum was so grateful to her for helping dad. For me this was a wake-up call – we had a problem, and we needed to get it sorted. We got Dad an Apple tag that he keeps on him so when he does go out to get his paper every morning, we can track him if needed.

Not long after this there was another incident where Dad became confused at home, he started to ask my mum where his mum was, he also kept saying that he could see people in the house, this apparently is a common symptom of Alzheimer’s Dementia. Mum telephoned me upset, and I spoke to Dad on the phone, I asked him if he was OK – he said ‘No, I’m not, I feel all tangled up’ – this broke my heart, and I said that I would get him into the doctors. I spoke to my mum and said that I would ring the doctors the next day to get the ball rolling, and that’s exactly what I did. I spoke to a lovely lady on the phone who was really considerate and helpful, she explained the process of getting a diagnosis. That was January 2024, and we had the official diagnosis by the end of March, Dad was prescribed medication that is designed to slow the condition down and improve the hallucinations and his mood.

Since his diagnosis, me and my two sisters do everything we can to help Mum and Dad. My mum is a true warrior, she looks after everything, the house, the bills, and everything with my dad, and whilst my dad will always be the one with the condition, we are mindful to make sure that Mum is OK, that she has everything she needs and to ask for help from us if she needs it.

There is a TV advertisement for Alzheimer’s Society, where a son talks about losing his mum to the condition, he talks about losing her at different times of her diagnosis – when she forgot how to make a Sunday roast, where she forgot her sons name, and losing her again for a final time when she passed away… I struggle to watch this advert every time it comes on the TV, as it is so true, this dreadful disease slowly takes a piece of your loved one away, and it is truly heartbreaking to see.

Our chosen charity for 2025 – Alzheimer’s Society

I’m so pleased and proud that Strategi Solutions have chosen Alzheimer’s Society as their chosen charity for 2025, and as someone who is living through what this dreadful disease does to the individual and their families, I want to raise as much awareness and money as possible.

Please help us by donating what you can, please visit our JustGiving site here…